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tattoo numero dos! - 08/31/2011

loveyoumadly_x in rip_mom_and_dad

Hi everyone.
I recently lost my Mom on June 16, 2010. Back in October 2007, she had a major stroke, wound up being released from the hospital two weeks later.. The following October, she had another major stroke, which left several things wrong with her - she couldn't walk, talk, or eat, she had to re-learn how to do it all again. She signed herself out by early December 2008. Well, a month ago today, we noticed she was getting worse & she complained of having problems breathing when she layed down, so we took her to the ER. They immediately took her back. Her blood oxygen had gone to 76, and there was just so much wrong with her. The next night, June 6th, suddenly, her left lung collapsed, and she was moved to ICU in severely critical care. The Doctors and nurses tried giving her/doing everything for her that they could. They put her on dialysis, but she wound up having these 'episodes' where her blood oxygen and blood pressure would drop so low that they would almost lose her. After about a week in the hospital, trying many medications and procedures, they realized that due to her fragile state, there was NO hope for her surviving. We were told that we would need to make a decision whether to keep her alive on machines or to just let her go painlessly and peacefully. On June 15th, we (my Dad, brother & I) had made the decision to just let her go, and at 12:05AM on June 16th, 2010, my beautiful Mom, aged 49, passed away. After we took her off the machines, her eyes flew open.. and then I saw her mouth go blue, and she gasped for air a few times, and the hand I was holding turned cold.. my MOMMY lasted a mere 35 minutes after turning the ventilator down. I miss her SO much, and I would do anything just to spend 5 more minutes with her. I am however, incredibly grateful for my boyfriend and everything that he's done for me.

I hope you all are doing well, and keeping healthy and happy, considering.

xo
Renee

Comments

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain of having to make the decision that your family was forced to make. I do, however, know the pain of losing a parent as I lost my mom and dad in a tornado in 2006. You have a long road of grieving and healing ahead of you, but please know that things do get easier with time. Your life will never be the same again, but as time passes and you reach acceptance of the situation everything will settle down again. The main advice I have is to take your time with grieving. The grieving process is different for everyone, but it is very important to go through every step of the process. Don't let anyone tell you how fast you should be done with grieving, that's for you and only you to decide. Hang in there, and even though you don't me I'm here if you need to talk or rant or anything like that. I know the pain, and I'm a great listener. <3

Also, this community isn't very active so you may not get many responses to this. If you need any further support there is a site called GROWW, if you google it you should find it fairly easily. The people there have been wonderful support for me so check it out if you feel like some support. Other than that, seriously don't hesitate to shoot me a message anytime.